Well here I am ready to go up to Jackson, I have been givin a quicker route up to the lodge and I am going to put it to the test! I talked to Derrick for a long time last night and got the opportunity to ask any question I wanted. I feel better about the situation and I got a chance to explain to him why it hurt so bad, I finally figured it out. I have dated quite a few boys and have had several boy friends but never has a break- up hurt so much. Sounds really cheesy but it is true. I mean rejection hurts anybody, but Derrick was a first for several things. He was my first kiss, first guy I truly "fell in love" with, and actually the first guy I allowed myself to cry in front of. I am a very independent and self reliant person, and to allow myself to depend on someone emotionally and at a physical level and in the end get hurt, it stinks! I fell in love with who he was and almost embarrassed at how hard I "fell in love" with him. After all is said and done we are still friends to some degree. I need to put myself first and watch out for number one! Maybe at a later time I can be a better friend.
I took a my first test today, hmm I was thinking it would be a multi-choice exam but when I showed up it was really a 8 essay exam. I feel I studied adequate for the test and I am hoping I did just fine! I will soon find out! It just caught me off gaurd.
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